I Love A Good Opinion, But…

Advice is a funny thing.  You ask for it because you happen to know the person dishing it out to you is likely to have a different perspective than you, probably has better knowledge of the topic at hand, and can help you make decisions, or center your thoughts better than you would be able to do without their help.

So then why is it that nine out of 10 times that I ask someone for advice, I completely ignore the wisdom they bestow on me.  Sometimes, I’m not even paying attention, other times I assume their input is completely useless.  After all, I am an expert on everything, right?

I’ve been in my new house for approximately 48 hours at this point, living as one of the three out of five roommates that has moved in so far.  And I have to say, I think I have asked for advice from my two roomies at least 15 times since I’ve been home.  I even asked Nick the dreaded, “Do you think this makes my butt look big question.”

Sure, he said no, but I wasn’t convinced.  I mean, the shirt I was wearing was black, a very slimming color, but my pants were straight-leggish, and that rarely does wonders for all the booty I’m carrying around.  I really wish he had just said yes, if that’s what he was thinking, but I know he would never do that.  As the only guy in a house with four other women, I think he likes to choose his battles.

But I asked him anyway, knowing that he would answer negatively whether that was the truth or just a way to escape a cry-fest.  Then why did I ask him?  Not to hear the truth, obviously.  Was it because I wanted to be told that I didn’t have a big butt?

Why do we really ever ask for advice?  I think more often that not, we like to hear someone back up our opinion, or help us toot our own horn.  Sure, you might not agree with this theory, because it’s great to hear that we really value each other’s opinions, and maybe I’m the only one selfish and vain enough to ask people’s opinions without really caring to hear any answer other than “Oh my God, your butt looks amazing!”  But this is my blog…

I’ve seen my friends ask me for advice, and the second I try giving them heartfelt wisdom their eyes glaze over and their minds drift off to something else, probably thinking about last night’s So You Think You Can Dance.  And I do the same thing — only I’m usually thinking about Gilmore Girls.

So here’s some advice for advice givers.  Stop.  Don’t even bother giving advice any more, or preface your never-ending expertise with, “Do you want me to tell you what will make you happy, or to tell you the truth?”

That will get people’s attention.  Because, to be honest, we’re really not helping each other out at this point.


One Response

  1. And because we like compliments. Sometimes I ask my boy’s opinion on something I’m wearing just so he can say “you look great”. It’s not exactly on purpose but it’s the truth.

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